WTF Is Wrong With You People!
by Spirit of the Dragon
Summary: The tittle explains it all. Something has gone seriously wrong with the rookie 9 and Gai's team's Girls. They're acting insane, and the boys don't know what to do. Well, its kinda hard to do something when you're being attacked by Albino squirrels.
1. THE SHOULDER COOKIES OF DEATH!

**As a warning, this is pure crack, and I must have eaten a giant bowl of sugar when I wrote this, So, just warning you. XD**

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"Neji!" Yelled an overactive Rock Lee.

"What is it Lee" Neji said in a calm tone as he was sitting in the middle of the clearing,

meditating.

Neji, Lee and Gai-sensei were waiting for their blooming flower of youth to arrive!

It was very strange, TenTen was never late. Well, there was that one time, and it ended up with all of Konoha being chased by rabid chipmunks. But, that's a story for another day.

"WHATS UP MY SQUIRRELY MINNIONS! ARE YOU READY ROCK!"

"SQUEAK!"

"ARE YOU READY TO ROLL!"

"SQUEAK!"

"THEN LET THE-"

"TenTen! What are you doing! I am all up for the youthful yelling you're doing, but you're…well…kinda freaking us out"

TenTen was up on a giant rock while holding a giant purple microphone, and she was talking to an entire army of Albino Squirrels. The squirrels retaliated. How dare those two (Neji and Lee) Steal TenTen's attention away from them! They had to be taught a lesson! So the squirrels attacked Lee first.

And what was Neji doing? He was just standing there with an anime sweat mark. How dare he do an Anime sweat mark! So the other half of the squirrels attacked Neji. But unfortunately, TenTen stopped them. She stood between the squirrels and Neji "You can't hurt my Neji-Kun!" Then she started hugging Neji "Because he has perfect hair!" She said while still hugging him and now she was smelling his hair.

"What the freak woman!"

**Somewhere with team 7**

"She is the prom Queen; I'm in the marching band. She is cheerleader, I'm sittin' in the stands." And Sakura started singing more to the song 'The Girl Next Door' But actually she had an ipod in her pocket and she had the ear plugs in. But Naruto and Sasuke didn't know, so they looked at her like she was on crack.

"Sakura...um...are you on crack, did you get it from Gaara? I knew he was no good! (A/n: ACK! Bad Naruto! Now something bad must happen to you for insulting Gaara!)

Suddenly, Gaara comes from out of no where and punched Naruto clear across the field, then he disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

So Sasuke, like Neji, had an anime sweat mark.

"Okay! My song is over! Sasuke, why don't you go and make out with Hinata! You two belong together! And I shall make it so!" Sakura screamed while grinning like a madwoman.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY PINKY!" Hinata screamed and jumped out of the bushes. She had flames in her eyes and a very scary killing aura. (a/n: Can you believe that of Hinata? Very scary. -nods head- yup)

"Umm...Hinata...It was-"

"SHUT IT PINKY!"

Hinata started beating Sakura into a pulp. (a/n: Oh yeah! you go girl!)

When Hinata was finished she went back to her team. And some medic nin came from out of no where and healed Sakura. "Hey Sasuke! Can you please go beat up Neji for me. Last week he beat me in the prettiest hair contest! That's unbelievable! How could I loose to him! He's a boy for crying out loud!" Sakura broke down crying and was sobbing her pretty little green eyes out. Awww poor, poor Sakura.

"Aw, Don't cry Sakura, you need a shoulder angel."

"Really Sasuke-kun"

"Yeah, I have some, they help you through your problems."

"Okay, I'll get some"

Then, two shoulder COOKIES appeared on Sakura's shoulder. The bad one was red, and the good one was white.

Then, Sakura started crying all over again.

"I'm so pathetic, my shoulder angels are COOKIES!"

Good Cookie: "You shouldn't be saddened Sakura-chan"

Bad Cookie: "Yes she should, she has COOKIES as shoulder angels, COOKIES, WTF IS WITH THAT!"

Sakura started to cry even more. But not before a stray shoe made its way to Sakura's head giving her a concussion.

"SHUT IT PINKY! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO TRAIN YOU NERD! AND YOU'RE TE GREEN ONE, THE BAD ONE! NOT THE PINK ONE, BECAUSE EVERYONE LIKES THE PINK ONE!"

And guess who that was. You bet, Hanabi.


	2. Awwww

**Okay, I just wanted you to know that I am completely braindead. XD**

**So, Since my birthday is on August 26, I shall give YOU a present.**

**On my Birthday I shall upload at least 2 chapters for all of my stories. But not until then. Sorry for the waiting for my stories, but on the 26 they'll all be updated. –throws party- **


	3. Barracuda

**Gah, I like, have this NEED to make people sing in my stories. Its annoying, so, yeah, that's why its like, Karaoke-ish. And I have this other need to do people's dreams, but I'll make a more serious version of that in a few months or so. But, Yeah**

**I don't own Naruto, the Barracuda song, or any of the songs mentioned.**

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Well, since there are two teams who haven't had randomness inflicted upon them, lets go see what Team 8 is doing.

**With Team 8**

Hinata.

Had.

Sugar.

Those were the three most horrible words Kiba and Shino would ever experience, and unfortunately, they did. Hinata was running around in circles screaming something about Panthers and pancakes. But then, she came to a screeching halt in front of the two terrified boys. Then, Hinata quickly whipped out her glittery dark blue flip phone and quickly dialed a number.

"Hello, Ino?"

"What? Taco bell? I wanted McDonalds!"

"Oh yeah, you go ahead and tell your Granny, I don't care, I'll go to Arbys!"

…_Beep…Beep…_

"Wait! You did not just hang up on me! OMG! Fine, go ahead and run away! I **know **you're scared of me! Ugg!"

Hinata glared at her phone, then decided to use her phone book to call Ino, which she really should have done in the first place.

"Hey, Ino?"

"FINALLY!"

"Okay, DO you know what Time it is?"

"Yes, BARRACUDA!"

Hinata hung up the phone and put it back in her pocket. She then stared at Kiba and Shino, who were as every minute passed, edged away from Hinata. But, then all of a sudden, Chouji and Shikamaru bust through the bushes and fell on the ground gasping for air. Kiba and Shino ran over to them and asked what happened.

"I-I-Ino…Barracuda…she's coming, Save yourselves…and run" Shikamaru gasped out

"NO WAY! We can't leave you two behind!" Kiba shouted while trying to lift Shikamaru on his back.

"No…You fools…"

But Shikamaru's plea and warning came too late, for Ino bust through the bushes and her and Hinata squealed with delight. Then, Hinata started screaming.

"INO!"

"YES HINATA!"

"YA KNOW WHAT"

"WHAT!"

"ITS TIME TO RIDE! THE BARRACUDA!"

"YYYYEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"EVERYBODY DO THE!"

"DO WHAT!"

"DO THE BARRACUDA!"

So Ino and Hinata started doing some strange dance. And the other boys stared on in wonder, but then realized that this was a good time to escape. But then, GIANT flower bags came over their heads and they squirmed and wiggled as they tried to escape, but to no avail.

**About an hour later**

All the boys were tied up, that includes Neji-kun, Lee, Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru, Kiba, Shino and…Gaara? And they all had their hands and feet tied up and were sitting up against the wall. Then, Shino turned to Gaara and said.

"Why are you here?"

"I have No idea"

So, Shino just shrugged it off and continued looking foreword like everyone else did. But, it didn't really make sense because the room they were in was pitch black. Then, a single ray of light shone from the ceiling and it fell upon a Karaoke stage. The boys were like: O.o

Then, TenTen walked on the stage, and this time, she was not accompanied by albino squirrels. (A/n: I believe albino squirrels are an actual species of squirrel and they're completely white. Go Google it. I COMMAND YOU!) Anyway, she took the Karaoke mike and started talking.

"Okay, If you're wondering why the girls and I have been acting strange… IT WAS PART OF A PLAN! TO CAPTURE YOU! You see, Tsunade-Sama believes that the girls haven't gotten a really good mission in a while. So, she said that if we completed the mission she gave us, all the girls would get an all expense paid trip to the Bahamas!"

After a moment of silence, Naruto spoke up.

"So why do you need us?"

"Well, all questions shall be answered in due time, but, while we wait, why don't we all sing a bit of Karaoke?"

Then, Hinata, Sakura, and Ino all came out and in super speed mode. They brought out chairs and placed them in rows like and audience. After a few seconds of silence, every single boy in unison said 'No'.

"Oh, come on, It'll be fun. Naruto, why don't you go first"

"Well, you'd have to untie my first"

"Whatever, its impossible to escape, I have the key to the door." TenTen lifted up the end of a necklace she was wearing. "Darn" Hinata went over to all the boys and untied them, and everyone but Naruto took a seat. He went up to the stage and selected a song. When he got up to the stage, he started…omg…singing.

_ITS FITNESS MADE SIMPLE!_

_MADE FOR REAL PEOPLE!_

_ITS CHANGING REAL LIIIIIIVES!_

"STOP! STOP NOW! PLEASE STOP SINGING I'M BEGGING YOU!" Everyone in the audience were screaming, even Gaara.

"Naruto, Sing another song please." Ino begged him.

"Fine, Fine, I'll sing another song, just let me find one." Naruto went over to the machine and clicked another song, and went back to the middle of the stage.

(A/n: We should all know the song to Balto 2)

_You must go to the east, go to the west,  
The road is rocky and the way is far.  
It's a dangerous trail, a difficult quest,  
If you want know who you really are. _

There are voices all around you,  
To comfort and to guide you.  
Fathers and teachers,  
Powerful creatures.  
And the voice that sings inside you.

Or you can turn back around,  
Run along home. Back to the place where your friends are.  
Perhaps that is best, You need to rest.  
Who wants to go on a ridiculous quest?

Unless you want to know,  
You truly want to know, Unless you want to know.  
Who you really are.  
Who are you? Who are you?...

_Who are you? Who are you?..._

_Who are you? Who are you?..._

_Who are you? Who are you?..._

_Who are you? Who are you?..._

And Naruto put on his goofy grin, and put the mike back on the mike-holder-thingy (A/n: GAH! Someone please tell me what that's called.) And walked back to his seat, everyone was staring at him all the way.

"O…kay, anyway, Gaara, why don't you sing next?"

"Heck no"

"I know how to fix this." Then, Hinata leaped onto Gaara and forced his mouth open and dumped a gallon of Sugar down his throat. Then…inner Gaara emerged…. Gaara jumped up scurried up one of the black walls CHIPMUNK STYLE! And started cackling evilly. Everyone was like: O.O and then Gaara turned into a chibi. He ran up to the stage CHIBI STYLE and picked out a song and grabbed a mike and started singing, still in chibi mode.

(A/n: Okay, some people might know this song, and some might not. But, the song is sung in English and Japanese. Don't go listen to everything in English, cause it will kill the song.)

_Four scene of love and laughter _

_I'll be alright being alone _

_Four scene of love and laughter _

_I'll be alright being alone _

_Four scene of love and laughter _

_I'll be alright being alone _

_Four scene of love and laughter _

_I'll be OK _

_Aishi aeba wakare yuku sonna deai kurikaeshita_

_Kioku fukaku tesaguru de ami kage o motomete wa_

_I can taste the sweetness of the past_

_Doko ni mo anata wa inai kedo_

_I'll be alright me o tsureba soko ni_

_Kawaranai ai o I belive_

_Haru no hikari atsu metara hana sakasete_

_Natsu wa tsuku ukabu umi de mitsumete_

_Aki no kaze fuyu no yuki mo sono toiki de_

_Atatamete hoshii_

_Four seasons with your love mou ichido_

_Negai dakedo yakusoku wa toki ga tade wa iroaseru_

_Can you feel me underneath the skin?_

_Anna ni kasaneta omoi dara_

_We'll be alright shinjite ireba sou_

_Donna touku demo stay with me_

_Haru no hanareru no youru ni mukare ni kite_

_Natsu no sunaham ni message nokoshite_

_Aki mo ame fuyu no namida kazarame ai de_

_Atatamete hoshii_

_Four seasons with your love yume no naka_

_Megareru toki o kokoro ni ari no mama ni_

_Futari ni hibi wa sugu omoide_

_Ai mo yume mo wasure mono itsu no hide mo_

_Atatamete hoshii_

_Four seasons with your love mune no oku_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, I'll be alright_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, stay with me…_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, I'll be alright_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, stay with me…_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, I'll be alright_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, stay with me…_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, I'll be alright_

_Four scene, four four seasons_

_Four scene, stay with me…_

When Gaara was finished he put the mike down and ran back to his seat still in chibi form. All the girls were lost in a wonderland because Gaara sang the song EXACTLY like the Japanese people who sing it. And all the boys were staring like 'WTF'

So, it continued like that, Neji Sang 'Absolutely (Story of a Girl)' Shino Sang 'Brothers Under The Sun' Lee and Sasuke did a duet---OH WAIT! I have GOT to show you what happened when Lee and Sasuke sang!

Okay, So Neji and Shino had just finished Singing and Lee and Sasuke asked to sing duet.(Gaara is still a chibi)

So then, Lee and Sasuke turned into Chibis and ran up to the stage and grabbed two mikes. And started to sing.

_Young men, there's no need to feel down  
I said, young men, pick yourself off the ground  
I said, young men, 'cause you're in a new town  
There's no need to be unhappy _

Young men, there's a place you can go  
I said, young men, when you're short on your dough  
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find  
Many ways to have a good time

Then, the two started to do some retarded chibi dance and then Sasuke ran next to Neji and started dancing, and Lee did that to Shino. And Shino and Neji were like: O.O

_  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
They have everything for young men to enjoy  
You can hang out with all the boys  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal  
You can do whatever you feel _

Then Lee jumped onto Shino's lap and started dancing, cause he was THAT chibi-fied. And Sasuke in turn, did the same to Neji, and Gaara was clapping along while in his seat, still Chibi-fied.

_Young men, are you listenin' to me?  
I said, young men, what do you wanna be?  
I said, young men, you can make real your dreams  
But you've got to know this one thing _

No man does it all by himself  
I said, young men, put your pride on the shelf  
And just go there to the YMCA  
I'm sure they can help you today

It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
They have everything for young men to enjoy  
You can hang out with all the boys  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal  
You can do whatever you feel

Young men, I was once in your shoes  
I said, I was down and out with the blues  
I felt no man cared if I were alive  
I felt the whole world was so tight

That's when someone came up to me  
And said, "Young man, take a walk up the street  
It's a place there called the YMCA  
They can start you back on your way"

Then Sasuke and Lee ran back up to the stage and started doing their weird Chibi Dance.

_  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
They have everything for young men to enjoy  
You can hang out with all the boys  
YMCA  
It's fun to stay at the YMCA  
Young men, young men, there's no need to feel down  
Young men, young men, pick yourself off the ground  
YMCA  
And just go to the YMCA  
Young men, young men, I was once in your shoes  
Young men, young men, I was down with the blues  
YMCA_

Sasuke and Lee, like Gaara, didn't go back to Normal but stayed in Chibi form and they skipped back to their seats. Everyone was like, 'WTF'

"Okay, I don't want to be in the same room with these people anymore" Ino said, and then pleaded to TenTen to let them out. So, TenTen unlocked the door that magically came from nowhere. And when everyone came out, they all were in their normal forms, or in other words, De-Chibi-fied.

"Kay, we have the music vid—" Ino started

"Music Vid?" The boys all stopped and stared at the girls

"INO!" All the girls yelled at her. Then, Sakura spoke up

"Yaseethemissionwastorecordyouboyssingingandsincewedidthemissionisoversobye!" then the girls all sped off in different directions. The boys, including Gaara, just stood there dumbfounded and decided that it would be futile to chase after them. So they decided to just go home. But before they went their separate ways, they saw Hanabi walking down the street carrying a baby lamb on her back. She stopped and stared at the boys when she was right in front of them, and they stared at her.

"WHAT! Ya never saw a girl carry a lamb on her back!" Hanabi continued on her way while flipping all of them the bird.

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**Lmao, well the chapter was getting too serious at the end so I had to add Hanabi XD. So yeah, 8 pages for word aren't so bad I guess. And it'll get weirder in the Next Chapter. **


	4. Music vid or THE END!

**ZOMG! My Computer like, had 3523423543 viruses. -.- I had to clean EVERYTHING off, I came close to losing everything, all of my documents, and well, everything. But, I saved it! **

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Tsunade-Sama had called the rookie nine, Gai's team, and of course Gaara to her Office the next morning. She was facing them all in silence, and after a while it got petty uncomfortable. But soon, she actually started to say something

"I have----"

Just then, Hanabi bust through the window that was behind Tsunade's desk, and she had two giant Potato bags with her. And when she landed on the ground, in lightning fast ninja speed, Lee and Sasuke were In the bags. Then Hanabi jumped through the window with the two potato bags while cackling evilly. And once again, everyone was like: O.O

"Anyway, as I was saying-"

"Shouldn't we go after her Tsunade-Sama?"

"Why"

"Cause they're Konoha Shinobi."

"That have done what for you all in particular?"

After that, everyone thought, and decided to just go home. But then, Gaara turned into a Chibi and pulled out a unicorn key. And a magical door that was in the shape of a cookie appeared and he opened the door with the key and ran inside. Everyone thought that it was better not to ask, so they just went home.

So, what happened to everyone you ask?

Hanabi dragged Lee and Sasuke to the cave of the Mole people and left them there and she went back home and acted like nothing happened.

Gai was devastated by the loss of Lee so he went insane and fell off a cliff which left TenTen and Neji by themselves. So, later on the two fell in love and eloped never to be seen again.

Kiba and Akamaru were forever afraid of Barracudas and never left their house again. And while they ran home, they stepped on a butterfly and Shino bust through the bushes and yelled "ZOMG! YOU MURDERED ELIZABETH!" And picked up the little butterfly and walked away to his house to have her funeral.

And Hinata, well, she was just Hinata-ing, so nothing important happened her.

Naruto and Sakura soon got jobs at McDonalds and, well, yeah, that's what happened. Oh, and unfortunately Naruto Never became Hokage, and Sakura fell down a gopher hole and died.

And Now that Sakura was gone, Ino became Tsunade-Sama's apprentice.

Shikamaru and Chouji were also terrified of Barracudas and joined Kiba and Akamaru in hiding in their closet.

And Gaara, he went back to Suna and resumed his role as Kazekage.

The End

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**Wow, well, a lot of people were emotionally traumatized for life because of what happened. Lmao, but, remember, reviews please! The button, right there, down towards the left, its rectangular, and there's a square one right next to it. Just click the square one, right now. Are you listening, apparently not because you're still reading! What are you doing here! CLICK THE BUTTON! WHY ARE YOU STILL READING! CLICK IT! NOW! Zomg, do you ever listen, click the button, and naw, if you had clicked it, you wouldn't still be reading, so click it! NOW! Dude, my gosh, just click the button, zomg just LISTEN! And CLCIK IT! STOP READING! And, omg...-sigh-...dude, just click it. For goodness sake, just click it.**


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